I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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