I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
