I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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