i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
