he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
