eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
