let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize