is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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