NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
