man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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