I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
