Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
