Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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