If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
