ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
