I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
