oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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