the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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