she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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