Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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