he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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