My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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