Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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