More tranny stories later!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
