I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
