Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
