I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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