Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
