Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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