were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
