I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
