Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's rum buckets o'clock
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
