I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
