I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
As shirtless as possible
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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