my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He kissed a someone with a penis
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
