My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Houston, we have a blender
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
