I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize