Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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