non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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