yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
