Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize