I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
