Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
