also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
