I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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