dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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