i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
