then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
