Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize