Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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