i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
