How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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