She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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