Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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