I want to make a zoo with you.
nutella sex= disaster
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
