I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
