i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize