Do you still have your period?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
