so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
