did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
