It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
