??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I FOUND THE LEGS
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
