they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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