You surviving the open bar?
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Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm just crazy horny about you
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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