I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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