So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize