Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The adults are the big ones right?
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