Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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