i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
