I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize