I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
