i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
