sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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