Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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