its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Randomize
