i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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