i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I want a musical about memes.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
